by Janet Lake May 15, 2021

I blame my lizard brain for the anxiety I feel whenever I am put under scrutiny and evaluated. It tells me, “You’re a fuck-up and now they are going to be on to you,” and, “You better put on a good show to hide…


I travel with my kids so I always book hotels with a pool. I've been disappointed because, upon arrival, we have found the pool closed. I learned to call the hotel before booking to see if the pool will be open or not during our stay, and if not, book elsewhere.


I am a public school teacher who has to be at work at an offensively early time. In order for me to get up and get going, I always hit the snooze alarm more than once and have more than one clock, just like you, James, so that the second clock is the official "get up now" alarm. But I also do something you haven't mentioned here which is place my clocks across the room so I have to get out of bed to turn them off. I dive back into bed two or three times, but at least I am out of bed when it is finally time to wake up.


I wept when I read your disheartened retirement letter, for myself and your readers, because your satire is a gift to the literary world the likes of which has not been written since Mark Twain wrote to mock his fucked up society. For you, however, Allan, I am overjoyed that…


Happy Valentine's Day, Allan! I am in love with your satire. Best wishes for another year of your sweet, delicious mind candy.


Naked Video Gaming: an Every Day Occurrence When Gamer is Too Excited to Play Roblox to Take the Time to Put On Pants

How Did Your Parents Feel about You Playing Video Games? Kotaku Australia asked. Video gaming journalists answered in their January blog that for the most part, their parents weren’t against it. I want to tell them that this parent was totally against it.

When they were five or six years…


I read that baseball scouts are not counting MPH fastballs as important in the pitching game anymore, but that a kid who can throw a curve is the hot ticket. Batters can’t hit a ball that isn’t where it was supposed to be, where they knew it was going to…


The American Dream as it has been defined throughout the ages since whenever the first immigrants thunk it up has changed and evolved to match those who followed it and dreamed of it. Streets that are paved with gold to give even the poorest shlups the opportunity to succeed, houses…


Yesterday was 4/20 and students had been talking about that day for two weeks leading up to it, but when it was a reality, no one ditched class, no smoke was reported in any of the bathrooms, and no one was busted by security. …


This is my first story because I’m not writing anything but comments on your excellent stories. It isn’t even a story, it’s an apology for not writing any stories to anyone who decided to follow me because of my insightful or witty comments. I didn’t mean for you to follow…

Ms. Janet Lake

The English teacher who's not like you guys.

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